I thought I'd tell a little about my abstract paintings. In the last year or two, I had thought about creating an abstract for a while now and then, ever since my Mom tried it. She had some leftover oil paint after she touched up one of her realistic landscapes on canvas and created an interesting autumnal colored abstract. She heard of how Artists sometimes make abstracts to help them relax and "keep it loose." I can totally understand that because at the time I was seriously considering strictly drawing photo-realism and not bothering trying expressionism, or impressionism at all because I thought it'd be cool at the time, I never heard of an Artist who solely did photo-realism with charcoal and graphite and I thought maybe I could be the first. But after some more research I did, there was one video that described photo-realism as artwork being done with "painstaking detail" and I began to realize that I should take breaks from drawing photo-real works because I've noticed having that meticulous perfectionist mindset for a long time can exhaust that part of the brain after long enough. So, I would take breaks from photo-real drawing by catching up on housework or doing something non-drawing-related to help "re-calibrate" my mind, but it didn't feel like enough. When I'd pick up that pencil, and look at my unfinished artwork, trying to figure out what it needs next, I would feel a little anxious still, even after a break. So it seemed logical to experiment with other types of art-- I mean I'm experimental with mixing teas, like that "root beer" tea I tried where I mixed dried sarsaparilla and spearmint leaves with a little milk and honey (I tell you it was not as good as actual root beer, but it might be good for the sinuses though) so why should I not experiment with art too? Unfortunately I procrastinated the idea of making an abstract as a result of just me overthinking it. Then one day in May of this year, my Mom was finishing some of her own paintings with acrylic and she had some extra paint on her palette. Like any sensible Artist she was reluctant to wash it down the drain (I admit, when I've washed my leftover paint I get a little sad seeing it go, good thing my Mom handles it better than me though). So she asked me if I wanted to use it. I thought of every reason that I shouldn't do anything recreational in a blink on an eye and then I realized that I had already done all my chores and all the necessary puttering for the day. Suddenly, I thought, "I shouldn't be wasting time thinking about making an abstract-- I should just DO IT!" And that's where it all started.
I think about 90% of the time when I was painting these abstracts I would be so cleverly and decisively thinking, "I have no idea what I'm doing."
I poke fun at this thought process in my YouTube video
Painting "Woman of Mystery" by Artist Brittany Anna Wittmeier, Experimental Art https://youtu.be/b935un27sO0
Yet there was so something so fun and soothing about painting my first abstract that made it a little addicting. I'd be going at it without a plan and then the more I would keep at it, trying to have that "happy accident" attitude, I found that I would be keeping myself in suspense wondering what it will be.
How do keep an abstract Artist in suspense? You don't have to. They already do it themselves. (ba-dunsss)
Then as the paper became more blanketed in paint, I felt like I was discovering what it is, what it's meant to be. This felt so weird because I usually put a lot planning and preparation before I even start a little drawing. Then I realized this is like life! When you have no idea whats going to happen or where you're going with all this and as you keep at it then all the pieces that didn't make any sense before begin to come together in this puzzle of existence we're all trying to figure out. When I was near finishing what was about to be named "Little Lights in the Dark" (the first picture below, the one with a lot of black and purple in it) I started to see something that reminded me of a large portion of my life. To me it looked like a dark, mysterious and engrossing storm with a little light from the lavender shades that reminded me of fog. Fog where you can hide and be concealed from whomever is trying to harm you, that wraps around you in its mist and can help you escape. I felt like drawing something like a tree on a hill in the bottom right of the picture sort of close to the center but somehow it started to look like a person, a person with a lot darkness dragging him down. Then when I tried to sign the finished piece with black paint it seemed to disappear so I thought I'd use white the fill in the "holes" in the "B" and the "A" and then strangely enough it looked like three little lights in the dark. After I walked away to let the paint dry, then came back to look at it, there was something both disturbing yet serene I saw in this tiny abstract I basically painted for fun. I could see the dark storm ensuing the hills and valleys of life, the darkness seemed to be everywhere. I felt the three little lights represented me, my Mom, and my brother closely holding on to each other because we knew none of us could handle this overwhelming darkness alone, my Mom had already tried her best on her own to protect us from the darkness and he whom brought the darkness into our home. The person whom was dragging darkness with him was also consumed in the darkness that he carried, and he brought the storm of darkness with him wherever he went. This "person of darkness" disturbingly reminded me of he whom brought into my home darkness everyday for years and carried it with him everywhere he went. He would unbridle that engrossing storm of darkness whenever he wanted to have his way, even if his way harmed us intensely both emotionally and physically. Then what was serene was the fog and how it protected us even in the midst of the tempest. The fog was like God and how God protected us because He knew our intentions, He knew our hearts, He knew we did no wrong for us to be abandoned, horribly betrayed and lied about by the man of darkness. God rescued us from the darkness and the man who carried the darkness with him. So this simple pretty little experimental abstract that looks like something a little kid could've painted actually depicts about two decades of my twenty three year old life. Makes you wonder a little more about abstracts doesn't it?
I feel like I'm coping with life when I'm painting an abstract. There is one of these images, if you want to guess, that when I was painting it I felt more deeply troubled in my heart than the other abstracts I've ever done. I was so upset with the evil, the malice and apathy from certain people that before I knew it I was crying a river. I will tell you the story of it soon.
Hint, hint. It involves scandal, death, betrayal, and injustice.
By the way these are digital photos of my art, not scans, I think the bright sunlight made the blacks and dark colors appear to fade. The scans should turn out better, which I will share on the GALLERY soon.
Comments